Find Hope

What would my free love, hippie parents think?

He kept using Bible verses, and I would say, “I don’t believe the Bible. Why do you keep quoting the bible? Why can’t you quote another book?”

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They had to get married. My mother got pregnant. They were very much into the whole concept of the *hippie movement, “Free Love! Make love, not war!” I didn’t know anybody at UCLA, it was such a big school. I wasn’t interested in religion, of course, and I wasn’t interested in Christianity. I wasn’t interested in the meetings, but I was so lonely I went to the meeting, and the people were so nice, so kind, and so loving that I decided I wanted to go again. They said, “We also have a bible study. Would you like to come to a Bible study?” I said, “I have a Bible” because I had been given a bible when I graduated from high school. My uncle gave me a Bible. I said; “I have a Bible.” I had never opened it, and I had never read it, but I had one. I felt I could be a part of that group. I started going with them to this Bible study. I didn’t care about the Bible. I didn’t care about the things they were teaching, but I really liked these people so much. They were so kind, so nice, and so fun. They seemed so interested in me that I kept going.

Don Botsford drove the sorority girls home. There were about six of us. My sorority house was the last one on sorority row. I was the last one in the car, and after we dropped the next to the last girls off, he turned to me and said, “So, Carol, how long have you been saved?” That’s the word he used. I turned, and I said; “I’m not saved.” He was so shocked that he later said; I could not let you out of the car until he found out what was going on because we just assumed. You’d been at every breakfast we had, every vesper (evening) service, every prayer meeting, and every Bible study.” Since I had been at every breakfast, every vesper (evening) service, every prayer meeting, and every Bible study they had all assumed I was a Christian. I told him, “No, I’m just interested in being with the people. I’m not interested in Christianity.” He sat with me in the car for over an hour trying to convince me that I needed to give my life to Christ. He kept using Bible verses, and I would say, “I don’t believe the Bible. Why do you keep quoting the Bible? Why can’t you quote another book?” A couple of times I thought, “Well, I’ll just do it to get out of here.” I was polite enough to not just open the door and slam it in his face. A couple of times, I remember thinking; “Okay, I’m just going to pray this prayer.” Then something stopped me. Something said, “Don’t do that. Don’t do that, Carol. That’s ridiculous. Why would you do that?” So, I would tell him, “No, no. I don’t believe that.” Then he would talk to me a little more, and I would say, “Okay.” I would start to pray, and something would say, “No, Carol. Don’t do that. You don’t want to do that. What would your family think? This is ridiculous. This doesn’t make sense, praying to somebody you don’t even believe in.” I’d think, “Yeah, you’re right. That is ridiculous.” I would say; ”No Don, I’ve got to go. I don’t believe this.” He would answer, “No, Wait, Carol, don’t go. This is the most important thing you’ll ever do.”

Finally, I decided, “I’m just going to go pray.” I still heard these voices saying, “Don’t do it. Don’t do it.” I decided to do it anyway. I remember praying something like, “God, I don’t know if you’re really there, but if you are and it’s really true that you want to come into my life, and you want to make me a new person, [do it]. I had enough of a past that I was willing to want to be a new person. I said, “Okay, come in...” and he did. I remember when I opened my eyes up I thought; “You know what?” I had enough of the bible over the past year and a half to know that I was a new creation in Christ. I had eternal life. The Bible was the word of God. I was assured of a life in heaven from then on and a part of the family of God. I walked out of that car, and went in and told my sorority sisters that had been praying for me for a year and a half. They said, “Carol, we can’t believe it. We’d given up hope on you because we thought you’d never be interested.” I realized, later, that there was spiritual warfare going on.

I ended up being a wife and mother, which was very different from what either one of my sisters wanted or expected out of their lives. We ended up very different.

Carol - What would my free love, hippie parents think?